Current mood:	happy
Entry tags:	anniversary, wls

Time Is On My Side
One year ago today, I was on my way to get married. I’m not sure exactly of times, but I’m pretty sure we were at least getting ready to get in the car (my mom and I) and on our way to Mall Of America’s Chapel Of Love.

What a year it’s been. One year ago today, I was 120 pounds heavier. I was dreaming about what it would be like to have surgery. I was praying that, once I switched to my new husband’s insurance, that I would be approved and able to have it before the end of the year. And I prayed that it would work.

This morning, Gary and I went to Denny’s for breakfast. Although we didn’t go exactly when we planned on it because I was up until 4:30 this morning reading through his old blog archives. He has them all, all the way back to July 2000. It was very surreal reading things that he wrote from that long ago. I’m glad that he had them. When we first got together in 1998, we had a website. Well, he had a website and I squeezed my way into it. We had written pages to each other, and put up a screen capture of our VP “wedding”. It’s long since gone. On the computer that he had when I first moved here, he had all the icq conversations and all the emails that I had sent him saved. But we had to reformat that computer after it died one day and all of that was lost.

It was nice that some parts of our lives together have been saved. He surprised me this morning with a letter he had written me for our anniversary. I’m not going to say what it said, because even though I (obviously) have no problem sharing my personal life with the nameless, faceless 10’s that read this site, this is just for me. I want to keep it just for me. Plus it would probably embarrass him if I posted it and I don’t want to do that.

It was a surprise because I had told him that I didn’t want him to get/give me anything. Earlier this year, he agreed (finally!) to go on a cruise next year and I told him at the time that in exchange for that, I didn’t require any presents this year. And I meant it. But on my birthday he surprised me with flowers and then for him to write me something that was totally unexpected and so sweet. It meant more to me than anything that he could have bought in any store.

We may be “newlyweds”, but we’ve been together now for almost 8 years (7 ½ of those actually living together). Some of that time we spent as strangers, and most of the time we’ve spent loving each other more than either of us had thought possible. I find myself sometimes marveling at what a gift I was given that day in May of ’98 when he was brought into my life.

In about an hour and a half, we’ll be headed out to go and spend our 1st anniversary in the hotel where we spent our honeymoon. We’ll even be in the same room. I cannot wait for this time with him. Yes, we live together (alone) and spend every day together. We work the same shift so (aside from his Friday’s when he’s off and I have to work) we’re always home together. But there is something infinitely more wonderful about getting out of our usual surroundings to have that time really and truly alone together to have nothing to focus on but each other. I cherish those times with him and I hope he feels the same way.

As I mentioned earlier in this already too long post, we went to Denny’s for breakfast. Do we know how to partay or what?? Anyway, we haven’t been out to eat since before my surgery. I wanted to go there because I wanted to test the boundaries of another milestone in my post-op journey. The last time we went there, we had to sit at a table because I had long since outgrown the booths in most restaurants but especially Denny’s. The last time that I sat in a booth there, I left with a huge bruise right on my stomach above my bellybutton from the table because I was too big to really be able to sit there. Since then, I have dreaded going out anywhere for fear that there wouldn’t be a table available.

We walked into the restaurant and waited to be seated. I’ll admit, as the host walked us out to the dining room, I half hoped he’d put us at a table. I wanted to test it, but didn’t want to be upset, especially on this day, if it didn’t work out the way I had hoped. He sat us at a booth and I eyed the space in the seat as I sat down. I expected to at least be touching the table. What actually happened left me completely speechless, but giggling hysterically while I put my hands over my eyes and tried not to start bawling right there in the middle of people eating their grand slams and senior breakfasts.

Not only was I not touching the table, there was enough room that I could cross my arms in front of me in between my body and the table edge. I looked down and could see the seat. I slouched down in the seat like I’ve never been able to do before, at least not in my adult life. I couldn’t stop giggling. I’m still amazed at what has taken place today. A door in my life has been reopened and instead of being disappointed by what was on the other side, I’m enjoying the light that is flooding in because of that opening. There’s more doors in this room that need to be opened, but I think I’ll enjoy the newness and the brightness of this one for awhile.

And the best part was that I got to do this with the man I love, and who loved me enough to marry me 120 pounds ago. I got to share this experience with him and see that he was proud of me and was happy for me and loved me.

Time is indeed on my side and I cannot wait to see what is in store for me tomorrow and all the tomorrows after.

Oh, and p.s. I made my goal of 260 by this date. Go me :)